I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize