they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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