quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
