In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
