I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
