remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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