wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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