I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
