last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
