so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
