He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
