Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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