I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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