Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
