what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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