Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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