on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she peed on how many people?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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