Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
