Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
