after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
