and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
