is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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