Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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