So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
