"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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