saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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