I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
