We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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