if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
