he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
