But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
