In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
