and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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