So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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