Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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