I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
