its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
