I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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