i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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