So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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