I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
