I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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