Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can you bring me the toilet please
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
