Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize