For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
