just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
