In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
