fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Life is so much better after having sex.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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