She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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