I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
