he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize