I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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