I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize