Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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