Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
