I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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