Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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