what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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