So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
