he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
