but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
