508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
