I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
