Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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