I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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