to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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