doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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