Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
