Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
