Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
