Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
