Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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