god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize