I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
